As it Appears

There were times when I used to scroll through facebook posts and have twinges of “I wish that was me” syndrome. Beautiful vacations spent admiring sunsets and fancy dinners with ocean views. Families wrapped in happiness at every turn. As time goes on I’ve realized that not everything is as it appears. My syndrome was cured almost overnight when some of these realizations came to light.

That happy blissful marriage…not happy at all.

Those vacations taken..while important bills back home were left unpaid.

Those pics of nights out, drinking with friends…loneliness prevailed within their hearts when the party ended. Even in a crowd one can be a lonely soul.

Why does it matter so much how many “likes” we have or how many “followers?” Have we lost sight of the things that really matter in our brief lives?

In contrast I’ve also seen posts that are absolutely authentic. Families that truly do love spending time with each other. The love is real and tangeable. I see hugs, kisses and everyone reaching out to help one another.

Grandma, can I help you with that?

Hey, I noticed that your door was broken so I fixed it.

A young adults car broke down on the way to a family reuinion and the whole family had a corn hole tournament and at the end, unexpectedly gave all the money raised to him to fix the car.

Love in action gives me the most inspiration. I no longer have the I wish it was me syndrome because I’m surrounded by love in action every day. Not on the screen of my cell phone but all around me. I just have to look up to see as it appears.


Dori Grassau

Dreams are important. They’re messages from God. When you ignore them or resist them or are kept from pursuing them, you are cut to the core of your being…Glenn Beck

I have often thought that we have dreams and desires in our hearts for a reason. They are what we constantly think about or wish we could do or be.

If our dreams are messages from God, then maybe we need to believe that if we take even the smallest of steps to make those dreams and desires happen He will guide us each step of the way.

How will we know when He is guiding us though? Awareness. Awareness of what is happening around us and the people or circumstances He puts in front of us. The longer I live, I have come to believe that there are no coincidences

With open eyes….Keep dreaming and be aware. He might…

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She Just Wants..

I came across an old binder with my writings from  2006 and read this writing exercise that Maureen Ryan Griffin gave as a prompt in class.  I thought wow, everything I wanted back then, I still want now and some have actually come to fruition…(not sure if I make “elaborate Italian meals” nor can I  say with certainty that my family “adores me” though. I must have been in a humorous mood when I wrote this.

She just wants peace and no more strife in this unsettling world.  She just wants no more craziness and constant disappointment.  She wants sleeping-in mornings with coffee and crunchy almond biscotti dipped in hot liquid brown.  She wants warm fuzzy slippers and flannel pajamas that hide the imperfect shape.  She wants the television off, quiet relaxing music and pretty paper and pens.  She wants to cook elaborate Italian meals for her family so they will adore her.  She wants to drink wine and sit under the stars with her husband in comfortable silence.  She wants to take her passion and be used as God’s instrument to help others.  She wants to take her story and do something good with it, allowing God not to change her story, but to redeem it.

Looking for Redbirds finally a reality!

Well I did it! As of right now my book is on and is available to order on my site here on my “Purchase Looking for Redbirds” page. In addition, Spark Publications will be posting an interview/feature about the book on their site. I am so excited about that! They have been awesome in this whole journey. Check it out at:

If you would like to get a signed book from me directly and you live here in Charlotte, just let me know and I will get one to you in person.

*If you search on Amazon be sure to put in “Looking for Redbirds Dori Grassau” if you put redbirds in as 2 words, it will not find it. 🙂

This entry was posted on August 1, 2018. 5 Comments

Be Still and Know

In a few weeks I will turn 50. There is something about that number. The realization that more than half of my life may be over is somewhat daunting. It makes you take a look at what you’ve done with all that time that seems to have slipped away from you in a blink of an eye. Have I made my life count? Have I loved enough? Have I forgiven enough? You look back and see your life like a movie, because in a sense, it is. It had a start, struggles, victories and long last, love. I am the author of this book and I have control over more than I think sometimes.

At one of my lowest points, filled with worry, my friend gently reminded me that I was disconnected from source. It was her way of saying that I was carrying the weight of the world and was full of worry instead of trusting in God. I had taken my eyes off of Him and thought I could do things on my own, and in the process, seemed to have made a mess of things while thinking the whole time that I was doing what was best. That phrase “you’re disconnected from source” seemed to snap me out of my pride and fear instantly. Whatever the world wants to call it: energy, source, God, Budah, the law of attraction, the Holy Spirit; it’s all the same to me. I recognize it and feel it everywhere.

The last few years I have really trained myself to be a lot more calm internally and to be still and just know that things have a way of working out. a knowing that deep within me resides the one who created me and everything internal and external holds clue’s as to what I need to do…or not do.

For my 50th I’ve decided to get this tatoo of the hummingbird as a symbol and a reminder that I carry within me every strength I need to get through anything. It reminds me that through a cancer diagnosis, and treatment, that God was right there with me. Through the surgeries and the many times I layed on that table and took radiation with a tear rolling down my cheek I could feel a hand on my right shoulder calming me. “Just be still Dori, don’t’ll get through this.” Every time I walked in that place anger would rise up in me. I didn’t want to make small talk. I didn’t want to see the other patients that were in way worse condition than me. All I wanted to know was why? Why me?

“Lord as I close my eyes and the technicians go behind that glass to protect themselves, I know you are here protecting me no matter what the results.” So many emotions during that time that have gone unsaid because I just knew I needed to be strong and that my body would follow my mind. That is what I believe, so I did what I had to do.

I look back and I am calm, peaceful. I had a wonderful man who bent over backwards to make sure I was rested and cared for who has sinse become my husband and one of my greatest treasures. I am grateful that I have the opportunity to have another birthday when so many have not. The experience has changed me in many ways but most of all it has refined me and for that I am thankful.

Be still and know.

This entry was posted on June 30, 2018. 1 Comment

Those Three Words

What does it mean when a man says I love you? Maybe it depends on the person saying it?

Sometimes those three words mean absolutely nothing when not backed by the actions that convey them. Sometime those words are used to manipulate some one just to hang on a little longer to give a little more time to figure out what you want to do. Maybe you think you love them, but when the rubber hits the road, you are 1000 miles away in your heart from her. You are always looking in the review mirror, leaving her in a cloud of dust. Focused on your own face in that mirror and how important you are. Consumed by what is best for you and how you might be inconvenienced by her being around. She is just a rough road to unwanted pressures and commitments.

However, have you thought that maybe right around the corner as you leave your “loved one” behind, there is someone else waiting to jump into your place? Someone who see’s the beauty inside of her. Leaving their desert for the green pasture that you just couldn’t see when it was in front of you. The life that had seemed so hard to you, but with some effort could have grown into something so beautiful if you had just gave it all of your attention no matter how difficult and self sacrificing it seemed. Love is not supposed to be selfish, it is supposed to be self-less. Selflessness sounds so negative, but what treasure could you really have when you make someone feel like they matter?

Once someone told me “I’m all in.” I had to ask again what he said because I wasn’t sure I heard him correctly. “I’m all in!” Those three words meant so much more than “I love you” ever did. I’m all in conveys it all. Not only did he mean it, but he shows it every single day. He takes care of us like he is all in, he talks to me, listens to me like he is all in. In return all I hear in my heart is “I love you, I love you, I love you.” He makes me feel safer than I’ve ever felt. Not just by words but his actions, his energy and motivation. It’s not all consuming, selfish love that is smothering. It’s inclusive to his whole family, his children, my children and his friends.

My husband is all in for making up for past mistakes

He’s all in for creating the life he always wished for regardless of what others might think

He’s all in for finding every way possible to get home to see his family even if it means working 12 hour days until pure exhaustion

He’s all in for being available even from a distance

He’s all in for doing things the right way and to the best of his ability whether that be a project or time spent with others.

Never have I met someone who was so selfless balanced with knowing who he is and exactly what he stands for. He may do things his way, but who says we have to do things the way others negate? Do they have the same experiences we do? Do they have to walk in our shoes? No. We are not promised tomorrow, so why not do things the way our heart prods us to as long as it is good and brings peace to our spirits?

I’m all in. Those three words get my attention every time.

This entry was posted on May 20, 2018. 3 Comments

Getting Really Close..

I am finally in the end stages of getting this book in print and out to everyone. It has been such a long time coming and I am so grateful to Fabi Preslar with Spark Publications for all of her help, encouragement and patience with me. I’m meeting with them next week to see what happens next and what the process will be for roll out!  I still have a lot to learn I am sure!

Looking for Redbirds is really a tangible representation of thoughts I’ve had over the years that I feel have been whispering to my soul. Whisperings from the One who created me, to share what may be universal truths for all of us.

Ultimately my writing is about conveying the importance of:

Listening to your inner voice

Being  connected to your intuition and your instincts

Living your life intentionally

That we all want to make our lives matter by living the truest expression of ourselves whether that means you want to be a baker, a doctor, a mom, white collar or blue collar professional, etc.  It all counts

Paying attention to what life is trying to teach us.

Everything that happens can bring us closer to our souls home

Bringing light and serving others

All of us have limited time to use what have been given

I hope that all of my writing touches someone in just the way they need at that moment and I can’t wait to see what roads this takes me down!


This entry was posted on April 5, 2018. 3 Comments

The Walking Dead

How do we shift from ambition to meaning? So many of us wake up each day, drink our coffee, sit in rediculous traffic, work at jobs that leave us feeling empty and at times angry. We then get back in our cars, do all the things that are expected of us, go to bed and start all over the next day. The next thing you know, you’re on your death bed wondering what the hell you did with your life. You wonder, am I going to die with my purpose still inside of me? Why did I not face my fears of the unknown when it could have led me to a life of true joy and meaning?

Are we living out what we know we are supposed to be doing or are we continually shoving that feeling back down inside of us like an over stuffed suitcase? I believe that feeling is the Holy Spirit continually prodding at us. It’s that small quiet voice in the depth of our knowing. Yet, we keep on marching the death walk never stopping to notice the beauty around us. We never notice how the robin turns it’s ear towards the grass to hear it’s next meal just below the surface,or the sunrise with it’s cotton candy hues. We miss the way the spring breeze carries the flower petals from the plum tree softly across our feet.

It’s like looking out of a tall building and seeing all the tiny little cars moving about like ant colonies. Everyone going this way and that. I can just hear the sound of the marching rhythm and it’s hypnotic trance. When will we wake up and see with our souls instead of our clouded visions of anger, ambition , accumulation and sense of entitlement?

Have we become a land of the walking dead giving no thought to what we may truly desire outside of material things? The walking dead can’t serve others. Nor can they hear God’s small soft voice directing their paths. We’ve become consumed with cell phones, gaming systems and noise. Restaurants are filled with people face down into their phones instead of talking to each other. It’s seems that people have forgotten the art of conversation.

The walking dead seem to be easily offended over every little thing other people say and do. Why not focus on what we are for verses what we are against?

Take a look at the prayer of St Francis:

“Lord, make me an instrument of your peace; where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is discord, union; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy.

Watch the news and notice how we are so out of line with this prayer. Then again, perhaps we should shut our televisions OFF. Take time to be in silence. Take a walk early in the morning. Talk to your friends about things that really matter.

Schedule down-time with the energy you put into work, meetings and deadlines as though it was the most important thing in the world, because it is. Make time to be kind. Stop spending your days like the living dead and wake up.

Wake up.

This entry was posted on March 29, 2018. 1 Comment

What’s Your Story?

Several years ago when I was single, a friend of mine wanted me to meet her at one of the little sports bars in town. I figured that wouldn’t be too bad since it was close by and I could grab a bite to eat. It would be good to catch up with her as well because we hadn’t seen each other in quite some time.

It felt uncomfortable waiting alone in such a crowded place. It was noisy and jam packed with people talking. When she arrived I was surprised to see that she was with several of her friends. There would clearly be no catching up.

She introduced me to everyone before we were all able to get a seat. While waiting for our table I noticed how involved everyone was in their conversations, the clothes they wore, the jewelry. I wondered to myself why it was so hard for me to jump in and converse with strangers. I thought that perhaps I wasn’t dressed as nice as I should have been either.

I also felt slightly amused that one of the guys in the group had a white T-shirt on that looked about three sizes too small for his muscular upper half. We were all finally seated and he leaned in real close to me and said: “So what’s your story? You see so and so over there? She’s been divorced twice. I’ve been divorced once and my buddy here, he’s been divorced three times.”

Embarrassed, I looked down at my watch and responded that my story was that I would be leaving as soon as dinner was over. He was not amused.

Being divorced wasn’t a badge of honor for me. It was a sign of failure in my mind and not something I wanted to discuss with a group of strangers, especially not Mr. Tight-v-neck t-shirt guy.

What’s the story you tell yourself? Are you too shy to talk to strangers or to make new friends? Maybe you feel you don’t deserve to be happy or to have the things or experiences you want. Maybe people in your childhood convinced you that you were less- than.

Over the years I started catching myself when I would tell myself these stories. I realized that what I spent time thinking about determined the quality of the life I was living. I became less afraid to try new things and in the process I started to feel alive. I felt joy for the first time. Talking to strangers does not even phase me now. If I want something and I can afford it, I get it.

No longer am I embarrassed of my story because it’s made me who I am today. Mistakes or certain experiences have a way of refining us.

Never EVER tell yourself a story that disempowers you. No one can make us feel unimportant, useless, or stupid unless we allow them to.

This entry was posted on March 14, 2018. 4 Comments

The Sound of the Train

The other day as I was walking outside, I could hear a train off in the distance. The sound instantly brought me back to our time together in your little apartment house. I remembered how warm you were and how calm I felt as we listened in the dark to the sound of it going down the tracks. The darkness didn’t feel scary with you there and the sound of the train as it hummed down the track seemed to represent my life. Going by me so fast, yet still on track, maybe not the way I had envisioned it but none the less, somehow in perfect synchronicity .

I was right where I was supposed to be at that moment in time. Memories of my sweet Italian grandparents and the safety they symbolized to me, came flooding back. Being back home after so many years seemed good for the first time. All those years your face would come into my mind out of the blue and I would ask God “why?” with no answer, then I would just brush off the memory and continue whatever task I was doing.

Perhaps He was giving me a glimpse into our future, but we didn’t know it as we were going through our individual trials. The book of Psalms talks about God planning every day of our lives out before we are even born. I believe that very much.

Listening to the train, I felt the warmth of the sun and a breeze was blowing the leaves off the trees. I admired the way they swirled and swayed softly to the ground. It was almost like they were falling in slow motion. I compared my life to that scene and how certain things must be cut off from us or shed before we can become new. Like the leaves falling from the tree’s, everything changes so that new leaves, and sometimes flower buds can be born. The old must leave so that the new can begin.

So it is with us. We have been given a chance to shed our old lives and start completely fresh. We hold close to our hearts those that came to us from our previous lives and intertwine them into the new, never regretting that part. We shed jealousy, pettiness and the trivial to live in the present moment and realize the great blessing each moment holds as long as we stop long enough to drink it in.

The train stopped to pick us up at the right moment. It is taking us to the place that we’ve longed for for so long. Had we been younger, we wouldn’t have been the same people we are today in many ways. There are still struggles but I know that the power of two is always better than one, so thank you for the ticket to get on board. Love you.

This entry was posted on March 4, 2018. 2 Comments