Sometimes I’m not as strong as they think I am. On the inside ..i’m afraid. Afraid they don’t really know my heart.
On the inside I reflect back to all the years, days and moments that they were my world. They still are.
On the inside I’m afraid that they don’t realize that time may be short and we don’t know it.
On the inside I am human, sometimes hurt by seemingly innocent, yet harsh words. But I remain silent while my heart breaks off into a little piece of jagged edge.
On the inside I still love as strongly as I did when they were little.
They don’t realize that as my nest becomes empty, so does my heart. Empty of the life I built for them, empty of the patterns our daily lives became.
But it’s ok. On the inside I know that nothing stays the same and this was the goal all along. To raise them, and enable them to spread their wings and live their lives.
On the inside I hope they don’t forget about me. All those car pools, birthday parties and back scratching marathons at bed times. All the scraped knees, hugs, kisses, fights and whining. All the temper tantrums along with all of the thousands of proud moments I had when I watched them grow.
May they know on the inside just how much I love them.