Being able to survive it doesn’t mean it was ever ok- author unknown
Forgiveness: Is it the ultimate in letting go of the pain or just the ability to push it aside? I am not sure I can answer that.
Forgiveness: Does it mean that we are okay with what they did to us? No, I do not believe that at all.
Forgiveness: Does it mean we have to be a part of their lives? No, it does not.
Forgiveness: Is what they did an indication of our character or our worth? Most definitely not.
Forgiveness: Does it require strength? Yes. As a matter of fact, forgiveness is the opposite of being weak.
I believe that forgiveness does not mean we are to continue to try to make someone want us when they do not. It doesn’t mean that we are somehow flawed or insignificant because they don’t want us. It doesn’t mean that we are to continually go through the questions in our minds over and over that somehow we are ” not enough” in their eyes.
Life is about choices. They made their choices and we make ours. We can choose to forgive them and in doing so, we release the demons that hold us back from living our lives to the fullest. We forgive them so they are free to either keep their demons or do whatever they feel they need to. But that has nothing to do with us any longer. We have no control over anyone else but ourselves and our own thoughts.
So forgive, when it hurts. Forgive when you don’t want to. Forgive even when you think they don’t deserve it. Forgive not to help them, but to help yourself move on from the pain. Disconnect from the chains you have been shackled to all these years. Disconnect from the power you have allowed them to have over you. After all, they probably don’t even think about you. Disconnect from it all and live your life.
Make it a beautiful life. Love your children, love your friends. Say yes to someone who truly loves you and believe that you deserve their love. Take a walk on the beach. Make time to do those little things that you love. Release the negative thoughts that swim through your mind during the day. Set them free to go swim elsewhere.
Remember, above all, forgiveness never means that what they did was okay. It just means that it is not your problem any longer.