Archive | October 2014

The Sun Must Rise

Just like the rain brings flowers
Just like the storm before the calm
So too, must the sun rise after the dark night….

This morning as I got into my car to go to work, I saw the prettiest sunrise. The clouds were a soft, hazy pink and orange color against a pale blue sky. It looked so peaceful.

It made me reflect on my worries. I realized that just like the dark night fades into a beautiful sunrise, so will my troubles. If I focus on the sunrise I realize that each day is new.

If I focus on the sunrise I can see God’s promises unfolding. Little miracles and big miracles are on the horizon. They are already happening little by little.

So keep believing. Push your worries aside and know that the creator of the sunrise knows your sorrow and he knows your troubles. Each day he offers you a new sunrise and new possibilities. Nothing is too big for Him to handle.

Remember; after the dark, the sun must rise.

This entry was posted on October 30, 2014. 2 Comments

Desires

Have Faith in the Lord and He will grant you the desires of your heart…Psalm 37:4

There have been so many unspoken desires that have been buried in my heart. So many hurts and prayers that at one time, I thought would never be answered. There was a long span of time that I figured that life was just one disappointment after another.

But then, I found my faith and for once I understood the meaning of it. It is more than all those days in Catholic school. More than all those times I stood, sat and kneeled in the pew. More than what other people pushed on me.

It wasn’t a religious thing, it was a relationship thing. A Father, when I had none. A friend when everyone else abandoned me. A confidant that could hear my heart without me opening my mouth and speaking. I could come to Him when I had nothing and no one else to reach out to. Sometimes I could feel Him and sometimes I couldn’t but I always knew He was there, somewhere in the void.

I knew He was there all the times my parents yelled and screamed at each other as I sat in my dark room. I knew he was there when my grandparents died and when I felt I couldn’t go on after my marriage fell apart.

Faith is a funny thing. It is invisible but all consuming if we allow it to be. It is healing and intense if we strive for it. It makes all things possible when everything seems impossible. Some say faith is for the weak minded, but I think it is quite the opposite.

I didn’t realize how powerful faith is until I really began to believe that things would get better. I changed the way I looked at life and the way I thought about things. I asked God to strip away everything in my life that didn’t matter and within moments He made things so clear to me.

Everything and everyone that mattered to me most were in my line of view and nothing else has mattered sense. I do not miss the shallowness of fake friends or the time that I wasted doing trivial things.

With that stripping away, came peace and focus and I wouldn’t trade that for the world. My pursuit of happiness has ended, because I already have everything I needed and I’m happier than I’ve ever been.

He has given me my desires, but not until I gave myself and my selfish pride away. Once His will became my own, then amazingly, he checked off all of the desires that were unsaid in my heart and handed them to me, and with that, I humbly tear up and I say…thank you.

It’s okay if others do not believe. It is not for me to say or push, but I know what I have witnessed and it is so real for me, and that is all that matters. I had faith and He granted the desires of my heart and I can see more coming.

100%

When you’re faithful you fall deeper in love every day. A lot of relationships fail because some people refuse to give 100 % of their heart.
You can’t have a lifetime covenant with a part-time commitment.
Tony Gaskins

Perhaps fear keeps us from accepting the belief that someone loves us, after all we have faced deep rejection. That person we thought would love us till the end, abandoned us, and not only that, they didn’t come back for us.

Perhaps fear keeps us from opening up to the possibility of something good coming our way. After all, there always seems to be disappointment around every bend, so why believe good is in the future?

Perhaps fear keeps us from surrender in a multitude of emotions. Why feel happy when it is raining? Why feel happy when someone else finds joy? Why feel confident in ourselves, when somehow we manage to let things fall apart?

Fear keeps us in part-time mode. It binds us and wraps us up in uncertainty. It keeps us from the possible and the beautiful life God wants for us. Fear is a tricky thing. It tells us we are justified for feeling the way we do. Well, I say fear is a liar and a deceiver!

Part-time mode is for those who can’t spread their wings and jump into whatever the possibilities are. Living in Part-time mode depletes us of our faith. Part-timers spend their hours worrying about what others may think of them. They think about how insignificant they are because either that is how someone else made them feel or because they believe it themselves.

I don’t want to be a part-timer in anything. I want to believe that what I thought was impossible before, is possible now. I want to believe that I am lovable and have a vastness of love to give away. I want to see the beauty in the rain as it drenches the tree’s and the flowers and washes away the dirt from the streets.

I want to feel 100% happy when my friends have good news and when I feel their support. I want to have faith that the Lord of this Universe loves me and only wants good things for me, even amidst some struggles.

I want to jump into the deep vastness of whatever 100% looks like, a lifetime covenant with someone, with whatever days, minutes, and seconds that I have left….