For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.
2 Timothy 1:7
This year I have been determined to stop being afraid of things that are out of my control. I have vowed to myself that I would have an open mind to whatever came my way.
I have stopped beating myself up over mistakes I have made and believe that every day is new if I let it be. As the saying goes, I’ve tried to have “ a mind that is open to everything and attached to nothing.”
Amazingly, the bucket list I made for myself at the end of last year is almost all checked off and it’s only half way through the year. The power of our mind is so powerful if we refuse to be pushed down with worry and strife.
When the fear comes creeping back, my heart recalls Psalm 27:1. It says that the Lord is my light and my salvation. Whom shall I fear?
He is my stronghold…. So if He is in me, then what is there to fear?
I thought I couldn’t enjoy my life because I do not have much money, but I have been able to travel home after twelve years for my nieces wedding, Charleston and Rhode Island with my friends. I was able to get my silver convertible for less than what I was paying for on my other vehicle and it is way more dependable. I smile every time I get in it.
I began to believe that it was possible and things seemed to just fall into place to make those things happen. I sit here in utter amazement of everything that has happened to me this year. Do I have more in my bank account? No. But I have peace in my heart and joy in my spirit more than ever before.
When I was in Rhode Island with my friend we stayed at her sister’s house on an ocean inlet and it was amazing. She actually talked me into getting into a kayak. This was a big test for me and my whole “being open to everything.” You see, I can’t swim but I put on that life jacket and I positioned myself in that kayak and a calm came over me where before it would have been panic.
As I got out further I could see hundreds of little white jelly fish as my paddle went into the water. Slow and steady, first the left side, then the right. My friend must have seen the look on my face and assuredly said to me from her kayak “they don’t sting.” Liar! I know jelly fish sting. She told me to just look straight ahead and that’s just what I did. My heart was calm and I just took in the beauty as we glided along.
I was looking ahead and not down, enjoying the ride and that’s what I will continue to do because whether I’m kayaking with the jellyfish or going about my day and carrying whatever weight it bears, I know that He is in me and for me and I will not fear….