Pierce Me

Even the smallest light pierces the darkest darkness
-Nicholas Booth (my brother, a very smart guy)

Hopelessness, there is nothing worse.

When we were young, my parents divorced and in that, I lost my brother. He was only nine years old at the time and I was about 14 if my memory serves me correctly. My mother decided he should go with our dad and I would stay with her.

The darkness I felt when I would think of him was unshakable at times, like I knew he was in a deep sadness and I couldn’t find him to save him. I couldn’t reach him. I was his big sister and I was powerless.

I didn’t see him again until he was 18 and it was only for a few weeks. There were lies and secrets involving his return, and when he was suddenly gone again, my hope of reconnecting went with him.

I loved my brother and I knew that something wasn’t right. I prayed that someday the truth would come to the light.

Another 22 years would pass, and every June I would remember him on his birthday and send him a prayer wherever he was. I knew that when the time was right he would be back.

That darkness was finally pierced this April when he found me. We have talked about a lot of things, and many lies have been cleared up and healing has begun. Sometimes finding out the light of the truth has made me cry but it has also made me smile because now I can get to know the little boy who is now a man and has endured more than I can imagine.

I am so proud of him for the strong person that he is and has become. Despite every stumbling block thrown at him, he has been married to the same woman for twenty years, and has three children. He’s built their home with his own hands and has made something of himself, not with material wealth but with a light that shines from within him and I love him so much.

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