It’s Saturday. Normally I work a second job and I run around like a mad-man getting errands done.
But today I’m not feeling well. My body has said “enough.” My mind has said “ok, I’ll take it easy, BUT just for one day.”
It’s cloudy outside and therefore a good day too stay in my comfies till at least noon. A good morning to actually sit down while drinking a hot spiced chai. A good day to actually pay attention to my sweet tri-color sheltie.
Yes, today I will take it easy without any feelings of guilt.
I would like to share briefly what was discussed in my life group last night because it seems like such a no-brainer, but it is so key to breaking through our fears.
As a group we have been reading Steven Furticks new book “Crash the Chatterbox.” It’s a book about hearing God’s voice above all others( like that self defeating chatterbox we hear in our minds all day).
The main point that I have really been focused on so far is how easy it is to let our “what-if’s” control our lives.
To put it simply, he states that we have to play out those what-if’s in our mind. What if my loved one dies? What if I lose my house? What if I lose my job? Answer those questions to yourself, then realize that God will be there if those things happen. He will help us.
Bottom line, God is bigger than all of those fears. He is bigger than all of our “what-if’s”
I just want to make it clear. I am not on a man fast because I spent so much time being with the wrong, right, or any other type of man. I am on this journey because I noticed how much thought I put into not having one in my life.
That fog that makes me think nothing is possible because I have no help. That fog that makes me think that nothing is enjoyable because I have no one to share life with.
But nothing could be farther than the truth. The fog is clearing. I can see all the things that are possible. I can see my beautiful friends and my irreplaceable children that make my life so complete in so many ways.
I can see clearly that God might just have different plans for me than I had for myself. Perhaps I’m not the failure that I sometimes think I am.
Thank you Lord for giving me your grace and removing the fog so that I can see so much clearer.
I am looking forward to better days with a new attitude. I can’t always be worrying about the looming “what-if’s” that are constantly playing their tune in my head. I must replace them with a solid answer: What if my “what-if’s” come true?
But after answering that question, I must swiftly remind myself that I must believe that whatever happens, God will help me. I realize more and more that there is only so much I really have control over anyway.
I am forcing myself to look forward to whatever life has in store for me. I have realized lately that I have limited myself of the little joys that life can bring , by thinking I don’t deserve this or that, or I don’t have the time or finances to do the things I love. I have begun to take the littlest of steps to make those things happen.
If I feel like taking a painting class, I will pick up the phone and make a plan.
If I feel like traveling with a friend I will look at my budget and see if I can make it work, and if I need to, I will sell something or work more in order to make it happen.
If I know God is calling me into something else than what I am doing I will remember that He will supply me with all that I need.
I will press forward even if I am afraid.
I will press forward even if I feel unqualified.
I will press forward even if I don’t have all of the answers.
My challenge to you: What is it that you are missing out of life? Why not press forward and do it?
Friday night’s…there was a time when I felt like I had to go out on Friday night’s. That time is gone. I have found that over the last year and a half that I have become content just relaxing at home Friday nights.
I am tired from the work week and I need that time just to enjoy my own house and the quiet contained within it.
I miss having a partner to talk to, or sit on the couch with but I have a loving God to consult with and the most comfy bed ever to rest in.
Do you ever notice that when you go on a diet, all you want is more of the food you can’t have? It’s hard to focus on other things when you are focused on what you can’t have. Tell me I can’t have chocolate and I will want some. Show me a “wet paint” sign and I will want to touch it.
Human nature is a funny thing. I have noticed that this whole man-fast idea has forced me to re-direct my thoughts. It’s not that I thought about guys all the time, or the lack of one in my life, but I definitely thought of it more than I realized. I am now focused on what I’m focused on.
Change is hard, but I think once you do it for a prolonged time, it becomes easier and easier. I also think the enemy knows our weaknesses too and tries to distract us. He can put something in front of us that seems irresistible at the time and we backtrack.
But, if we realize what happened, we can quickly get back on track and wipe our brow with relief that we didn’t completely blow it.
p.s. Lord, please help me stay focused on my actions that bring you glory. Help me focus on the goals and assignments you have for my life. I can be weak, but with your help I can be strong.