I woke up yesterday with a good healthy anger. It’s the kind of anger that actually motivates you to change. It’s where you say, “Lord, change my situation, or change me! Show me which way to go. I can’t do this anymore!”
I am no longer going to sit around and wait for love to find me. Do I want someone to love and care for? YES. Do I want someone to love and care for me? YES. There are other things that have not fallen into place for me either, but my outlook has turned the proverbial corner. I do not want to just let life throw me about like waves on the ocean this way and that. The storm has carried on too long. I want to DO love, and be love; towards my children, to my co-workers, my friends, and to strangers. If that makes me seem crazy, well then strap on the straight jacket!
If that means being alone, then so be it. If someone can’t hug me and put their arms around me before I go to sleep at night, then I will hug someone else who needs it. If someone won’t kiss me when I need it most, then I will kiss my dang dog on the forehead just because I can!
Let me tell you, a health scare will put us in into reflective mode more than anything else. Financial distress or a loss will do the same. It makes you have this sense of urgency to make your life somehow worthwhile. You begin to live life on purpose. You realize and accept that there are things you can change, and things that you can’t. You begin to choose carefully what you say and what you do.
I have never been a big party girl, even though there was a brief period of time I stepped out on the edge of that. But each time I would be driving home from those events, a little part of me would think, why did I do this tonight? I never over indulged in anything and was usually the first one to leave when everyone else stayed until the wee hours in the morning. I doubted if I really fit in. It didn’t feel like love. It felt empty and shallow. This might not be someone else’s view, but it was my individual experience. I love to go out and be around others, it just depends on the environment sometimes.
Doubt comes in many forms and during many trials. James 1: 2-3 says Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.
It doesn’t say IF we face trials, it says WHEN. It goes on in verse 6 to say that we must believe and not doubt because those who doubt are like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.
I will persevere by being busy DOING and BEING love for when we are distracted by the right things, we are filled with joy and along the way, I think love finds us whether that be through other people or the satisfaction that we did whatever it is we are here on this earth to do.
So my friends, stop looking for love, and start doing love!