As I look out my window into the back yard each day, I see two plum trees that are bare from the winter. Grey and without leaves, they fit in with the rest of the landscape that lies in hibernation. 2013 was a rough year, to say the least and when I see those trees, I think to myself that spring is coming and with it, new life will begin to bloom. I wonder to myself, if my life will ever do the same.
Last year I allowed fear and worry to take hold of me. My marriage was officially over, my fence was falling apart, my truck kept breaking, the garage door worked only when it wanted to, my refrigerator broke, etc etc. Every time I thought I could get ahead something kicked me five steps back. I fell behind in my mortgage and couldn’t recover. I didn’t ask for help. I felt truly defeated for the first time in a very long time.
The woman who loved to garden, write and paint let her yard get out of hand, stopped writing her manuscript, and put her easel away, and with those things, her hope was extinguished. Losing hope is a very bad thing. Without it we will not flourish or be fruitful.
It took some hard lessons but I turned around my thinking and got a second job. I had good friends who encouraged me. I will never forget my friend Jim who said “Dori, you are letting everything overwhelm you, just take one room at a time. If something is broken in that room, work on fixing that and nothing else. Then when you accomplish that you will feel better. Then move on to the next room. You can do this!” Another friend had someone come fix my fridge, and another sent someone to fix my garage door.
The burdens were lifting, and so were my spirits. Last week I learned that the mortgage company approved a remodification of my loan and my mortgage stands current after many months of not making payments. Like the tree, my life will come to life again. I will not always be this alone and things will not look so grim. I choose to be grateful each morning even before my feet hit the floor. I say thank you Lord that I have this bed that keeps me warm at night. I say Thank you Lord for my children and our health. Thank you Lord for bringing friends into my life that shine Your light onto me. Thank you Lord for my abundance because I believe that is what I have.
So as 2014 begins, I will have a new outlook on my situation. I will plant new flowers this spring, write my book, and paint with a glass of wine in hand, and I will have Jim come over and fix something if it breaks!