Do you find yourself just doing the same things day in and day out never feeling any joy in your days? Why do we work so hard every day? We work hard to make money to pay our bills and of course to acquire more stuff. Some of us do not have the money to do much more than to pay for the bills that we have created and are barely getting by. We toil and we stress over every penny and how we will pay for this or that. We put off one bill to pay one that is more urgent, always with an undercurrent of dread that it will never get better.
I understand this well. I go to work each day, and I come home and I take care of my family because I love them more than anything or anyone on this earth. But at the end of the day, I am tired and I am weary.
John 10:10 says: The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.
Jesus came so that I could enjoy my life, so why am I not doing that?? Who or what is the thief that is stealing my joy? It could be a myriad of things. Is it tiredness? Maybe I need more than six hours of sleep each night. Is it who I’m hanging out with? Do they bring value to my life? Maybe it is my way of thinking that I am alone and I have no one to help me. At times I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders.
But deep down, I know better so I have to sometimes, yes, pour myself a glass of red wine (or two) and reach way down into my soul and pull out the strength that resides inside of me when I can feel myself slipping. I have to remind myself not to worry about all of the “what if’s” and to live each day to the fullest. I have to remind myself that, yes I may feel lonely at night in my bed without someone’s arm over me, but I have friends who care about me and children who love me.
I have to remember there are things in life that I have no control over but I also need to take responsibility to be proactive on the things I can do, but I no longer want to be a slave to that thief that steels my joy any longer!
I want to seize each day and love those around me even if it is in the littlest of ways. I want to cherish a sunset, or see a movie once in a while that makes me laugh, with a friend who will laugh with me. Why can’t I take a drive up to the mountains on the weekend for a day trip or to a winery for the day? Life shouldn’t always be so filled with drudgery. I think I get stuck feeling that those things aren’t as much fun without someone else. I guess I am an intimate creature by nature.
I have always dreamed of going to Tuscany with someone I love. Why do I sometimes feel like it will never happen? But if I go get my passport am I not one step closer?? No, I may not have the money to go now, but I am somehow empowered by saving that little bit of money to get that passport and maybe it will encourage me that it is somehow possible. I still park on one side of the garage, and still sleep on one side of my bed, because somehow I think if I park in the middle, or sleep in the middle, I am telling the universe there will never be room for someone else in my life again. So, I keep my heart open even when it is tired and weary because I want this life that was given to me, to be lived to the fullest the way Jesus wanted it to be. I hope you do too…
If you feel like dancing, do it. I’ve been known do this in my kitchen while I’m cooking.
If you feel like telling someone you love them, don’t think about it, just do it.
If you feel like giving someone something, don’t hesitate. It could be the Holy Spirit nudging you to do so.
If you feel like skinny dipping in the lake, do it! (Don’t get yourself arrested of course)
If you feel like singing in the shower, belt it out like no one is around.
If you feel like crying, allow yourself. Sometimes it’s just needed to wash out the pain and let in renewal.
Someday I will lie in a bed of red poppies in Tuscany with someone I love, and I will have no shame in it. I will sing in the shower and dance in my kitchen and love those around me to the fullest and I will have no regrets….