He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

I remember summer days as a young girl, sitting in the tall grass picking daisies and pulling the pedals off one by one.  With each pedal I would alternate the statement; “He loves me, he loves me not.”  Then the wind would come along and blow the pedals away from my reach.  Some kids had magic 8 balls.  I guess I was more basic than that.

Most girls dream of finding someone who loves them.  We dream of someone who will care for us and protect us.  Life doesn’t always go as we planned.  But I do know that there are seasons for everything.  Just as the flowers grow in the spring new and fresh, our hearts at one point were new and fresh as well.  Expectations were high and our hearts were pure.  Someone came along and crushed us.  They yanked us up by the roots and seemed to kill whatever dreams were in us.

But with each disappointment we must learn to carry on.  It’s up to us to take those disappointments and turn them into learning experiences.  We must take the seeds and replant in new fertile soil that doesn’t contain the weeds of bitterness and sorrow.  If we don’t, then the next person that comes along in our lives may be judged incorrectly, and we would miss out on an opportunity to love and be loved in a genuine way.

Maybe we should view each person that comes into our lives like a pedal on a flower.  They come into our lives for a reason, or a season.  Maybe it is to show us love just when we needed it.  Maybe they are here to teach us a lesson about something.  They either stay for a season and they are gone, or they are rooted in our lives so deeply that it wouldn’t be the same if they were gone.  They impact us, they move us, and whether it is for the good or bad, it is up to us to decipher which one that they are, and to hold on to them or to let the wind blow them away.

This brings me to a memory I have of when I was newly separated from my husband of thirteen years.  It was one of the loneliest times in my life.  My life with him was all I had known.  I struggled each day to keep myself together and to view life in a new way. I wanted to see the good things in each day, no matter how small they were. I remember praying in my car one morning as I was on my way to the coffee shop.  I wanted to know, if my husband didn’t love me, was there anyone that did?  Anyone?

As I stepped out of my car I saw something blowing across the parking lot and it blew right across the top of my foot.  I reached down and it was a picture of Jesus.  My heart was beating so fast.  I was in disbelieve and awe that the master creator of those daisies I picked so long ago, could tell me, just when I needed it, that HE indeed LOVED ME.  I keep that picture on my cork board at home as a reminder that I am not alone, and that even though life might disappoint us and we might feel lonely at times, that there is a God that truly loves us.

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