C.S. Lewis once said: “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, and motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, and irredeemable. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers of love is Hell.”
I think we were all created to love and be loved, but over time we are hurt by others or by the loss of someone we loved and we begin to build up a wall where we tell ourselves things that seem to justify our lack of reaching out to others. By doing this, we obstruct our own ability to receive love and what could be wonderful, if we would only reach out to receive it. Instead of our hands being open, our fists are closed as we say that we don’t want to be controlled by anyone ever again. We want to do what we want, when we want to do it without having to answer to anyone. We don’t ever want to feel the type of pain again that we felt over that loss. We make excuses to ourselves, and they sound good to a point.
We keep ourselves busy with work, projects, friends, technology, but eventually the night comes when we lay in our bed and we wonder what would happen if we could just break free of the stubbornness and open ourselves up to being loved once again. If only we could allow ourselves to take the risk and love another. Yes, they might disappoint us. Yes, we might disappoint them. But that is life. We are all human and make mistakes. Mother Teresa said, “Love, to be real must cost! It must hurt. It must empty us of self!” I wish it didn’t but I know it is true.
As I get older, I realize that life is short and I long for the companionship that I know God wired me to have. He wired me to give my love to someone. He wired me to care and to touch. To kiss and give my heart and kindness to someone who wants it just as much as I do. I know that to love is to risk being hurt once again. My fists aren’t as tightly closed as they once were. They are starting to open to the possibility of love and being hurt again and the wild journey they would endure, if only someone would put their open hand in mine and take the journey with me….